I Need a Big Fast Forward Button

by Samantha on February 17, 2010

Fast Forward

Helplessness is one of the worst feelings in the world. Seeing someone you love in pain and not being able to do a thing to make it better is excruciating.  You try to be logical and remind yourself that there are certain things that are beyond your control, and this is one of them, but it doesn’t help. If you could take their pain upon yourself you would. You would make a deal with the devil, give everything you have for a big fast forward button. But, no matter how hard you wish, there is still no such thing as a time machine, and no amount of bargaining will make it all go away.

So, you try to be strong, while you hold back tears, and somehow find words of reassurance to offer. You’re there when you can be, for support and companionship and distraction. And when you can’t, you call on the phone and send e-mails and messages. You hold on to hope that things will get better, because they have to. This feeling will go away eventually, and G-d willing, so will the pain. Until then, you just take it one day at a time, because that’s all you can do.

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  • I already emailed you with my thoughts on this post -- on you, Sam -- but I wanted to reiterate that here.

    When darkness and helplessness threatens to overtake you, when you wonder how you'll ever be strong for someone else, much less yourself, when you feel like nothing is within your control and you pray, plead, try to bargain with anyone who will listen to just freeze time -- or go faster so that you can figure out how it will turn out -- that's when you turn to hope. Because hope sometimes that's the only thing we have to hold onto.

    Well, not the only thing. We have each other -- you friends, your family, those people who are always there to support you. Always. Remember that.

    We're here.
  • Thanks Susan! As always, I truly appreciate your insight and your support.
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