Communication: It’s key to every relationship, whether romantic, platonic, familial or professional. To be a successful communicator, you must master both expressing yourself and listening to others. Some people are better at it than others, and some are not nearly as good as they think. We all have to remember that people are not mind readers. If something is bothering us, we have to speak up about it. Chances are, the person didn’t even realize what they were doing.
Over the weekend, I had a very difficult discussion that’s been a long time in the making. I felt that a certain person had not been himself around me, and this hurt me deeply. He had no idea I felt that way, because I’d never said anything before. We talked about relationships of different kinds and how much of an effect communication, or miscommunication, can have on them. When things are left unsaid, assumptions are made. If communication eventually disappears altogether, it can sever ties, no matter how deep.
It can be difficult to talk about how you feel. Starting this particular discussion took some practice and more than a few deep breaths. But, I can’t even begin to tell you how much better I felt afterwards. I asked for honesty, and I got it…maybe a little more than I wanted, but as a result, I was able to understand the stress that caused what I perceived as distance. We work too hard on forming strong relationships to let them falter because we’re afraid to speak up or ask for clarification. Of course, there are boundaries, and we have to approach certain situations with care. Accusations and anger will only make things worse. Make notes if it will help you convey your points better. Say your piece, and then shut your mouth and listen. Learn from the experience, and make sure to keep the lines of communication open in the future.
