Is Blood Really Thicker Than Water?

by Sam on April 14, 2009

We are forever connected to our family through our blood, our shared history, our similar traits and features. If not for our parents, we wouldn’t be here, if not for our grandparents, our parents would never have been born…the chain goes on and on. Some people have very close-knit families, and some do not. There are so many factors that affect our family relationships: age, distance, common interests, tradition, the precedent set by previous generations. Friends may come and go, relationships may change, but no matter what, our family will always be our family.

My family has always been very important to me. I’m fortunate enough to have close relationships with both of my parents, and though I never lived near my extended family, my grandparents and aunts and uncles did the best they could to make me feel loved. As the only girl on either side of the family, connecting with my five first cousins was often tough. That said, I am very grateful for my cousin Adam. As only children and rabbis kids, we have always had a lot in common and we remain close to this day.

As with all relationships, things change over time. We grow up and our lives take different paths, sometimes we become closer, sometimes farther apart. The family tree loses branches and grows new ones in different places, but the roots are still there.

So, why am I writing this post? Family relationships are complicated, and no two stories are completely alike. Recently, I have witnessed a dramatic change in the relationships between several members of my family. One has decided that he is going to do things for himself, regardless of how it affects others. This new philosophy has caused a rift between him and others, as he has become so consumed in it that he is no longer the same person he once was. He has always been a generous person, very giving, and so I commend his efforts to pay more attention to himself. However, he was also a funny, kind person who valued and cared about his family, and that part of him is gone.

I wasn’t quite sure how to write about these things, and I’m not sure that this was the best I could have done. But, watching this change has been so difficult for me that I had to express it somehow. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s anything I can do to make it better. Regardless, for me, blood is thicker than water. I love my family, and I always will. No matter how much life changes, no matter how much our paths diverge, no matter what conflicts may arise, they are my family, and that is a tie that can never be broken.

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  • I can relate to how you feel. I once heard a story about a new immigrant who was living at a temporary house, and he would always take his black briefcase with him whereever he goes. He even uses it as a pillow. People were concerned and offered him pillows, asked if there was something really important in the suitcase that he would like them to put in the safe....It turns out that the briefcase was empty.. The man explained that he felt so lost in the new country and the briefcase was sort of like his identity and the only thing he had. The point of the story is everyone has one of those briefcases. Mine is full of relationships, people that I hang onto. In a way, the relationships I have with people define who I am. So when these relationships change, I break down - because it feels as though a part of me is being changed as well. Maybe this is a little to the extreme, but I wonder if it's possible to ever care a little less about these ties? I'm not sure.
  • Ruby, that's a great story and totally representative of what I'm talking about. It's awesome that your life (your "briefcase") is filled with quality, meaningful relationships, and I'm glad you can relate to how I'm feeling. Thanks!
  • Ruby, that's a great story and totally representative of what I'm talking about. It's awesome that your life (your "briefcase") is filled with quality, meaningful relationships, and I'm glad you can relate to how I'm feeling. Thanks!
  • I can relate to how you feel. I once heard a story about a new immigrant who was living at a temporary house, and he would always take his black briefcase with him whereever he goes. He even uses it as a pillow. People were concerned and offered him pillows, asked if there was something really important in the suitcase that he would like them to put in the safe....It turns out that the briefcase was empty.. The man explained that he felt so lost in the new country and the briefcase was sort of like his identity and the only thing he had. The point of the story is everyone has one of those briefcases. Mine is full of relationships, people that I hang onto. In a way, the relationships I have with people define who I am. So when these relationships change, I break down - because it feels as though a part of me is being changed as well. Maybe this is a little to the extreme, but I wonder if it's possible to ever care a little less about these ties? I'm not sure.
  • Thanks for sharing this. And your new header looks adorable! You did such a great job on it. =)

    The family ties are always so difficult. I always think that family issues hurt the most - probably because the thick blood, as you mention.
  • Thanks for sharing this. And your new header looks adorable! You did such a great job on it. =)

    The family ties are always so difficult. I always think that family issues hurt the most - probably because the thick blood, as you mention.
  • I agree Grace, I also have several close friends who I consider like family. If we are able to bond with people on that level and have friends who we can truly count on for anything, we should consider ourselves very lucky. You're right that family ties don't prevent rifts from forming, and I'm not so naive as to believe or wish that my family would never grow apart, it's just so extreme. Anyway, thank you for your insight!
  • Carlos, you make a very good point. In order to have healthy relationships with our family, we have to be able to hear what they have to say and still make our own decisions. Easier said than done. Thanks for your comments!
  • Although I'm sure you think of this...I also consider a few friends, my family. They always will be and I hold onto the truth of that statement. I'm glad you could share and I agree, family ties can never be broken as you're literally blood but it doesn't mean riffs aren't created or that we sometimes lose trust in them...
  • I agree Grace, I also have several close friends who I consider like family. If we are able to bond with people on that level and have friends who we can truly count on for anything, we should consider ourselves very lucky. You're right that family ties don't prevent rifts from forming, and I'm not so naive as to believe or wish that my family would never grow apart, it's just so extreme. Anyway, thank you for your insight!
  • Sadly, it's true....
    Why sadly? Because sometimes family members are our biggest detractors. Their opinions matter too much sometimes.
    But, as you say, we can't just erase them from our lives. They'll be a part of it, always.

    I feel like you do, but i'm not so happy about it. I think we should be able to part ways even from family. Just because we share blood, doesn't mean we should share opinions, or even influence other family members' actions.

    Nice post, loved it!
  • Carlos, you make a very good point. In order to have healthy relationships with our family, we have to be able to hear what they have to say and still make our own decisions. Easier said than done. Thanks for your comments!
  • Although I'm sure you think of this...I also consider a few friends, my family. They always will be and I hold onto the truth of that statement. I'm glad you could share and I agree, family ties can never be broken as you're literally blood but it doesn't mean riffs aren't created or that we sometimes lose trust in them...
  • Sadly, it's true....
    Why sadly? Because sometimes family members are our biggest detractors. Their opinions matter too much sometimes.
    But, as you say, we can't just erase them from our lives. They'll be a part of it, always.

    I feel like you do, but i'm not so happy about it. I think we should be able to part ways even from family. Just because we share blood, doesn't mean we should share opinions, or even influence other family members' actions.

    Nice post, loved it!
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