My boyfriend and I have been together for almost five years. We survived three years of long distance, and he has been there for me through some of the most difficult times in my life. I don’t really write much about our relationship because it’s not something I feel like I need to share. (I’m no relationship expert either. My next longest relationship lasted three months). But, if there is one piece of advice I can offer, it’s this: don’t let your relationship be your whole life.
That may sound kind of strange, but read it again. I said “whole life.” Of course any relationship will, and probably should be, a major part of your life. You’re going to spend time with your significant other doing coupley things, hanging out with their friends and bonding with their family. But, just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you can’t still go out with your girls (or boys) without your SO. This is something that I wish I had done more in college. Granted, long distance requires a lot of time and effort, and takes a lot out of you emotionally, but that’s not an excuse. I missed out on a lot of fun times with my girlfriends because I had convinced myself that I couldn’t go out with them and still have a good time. Although most of them were single, I wasn’t the only one in a relationship, and I wish I had followed my friend Jen’s example and made girl time more of a priority.
Five years in, my friends have become friends with my boyfriend, and vice versa. We’re fortunate that most of our friends get along with each other, and it’s been great to have them all in the same place and see them interact so positively. That said, I think one of the things that makes our relationship so great is that I’m not afraid to say ‘I’m going to brunch with so and so, and you’re not invited,’ and he knows I’m totally cool with him catching a baseball game with friends. We make time for each other, and we enjoy doing things in big groups with our friends, but we’re okay with being apart sometimes too. After all, it’s much more fun to gossip and go shopping with my girls.
So, when you find love, treasure it. Make time for each other, and make an effort to get to know each other’s friends. But, don’t let your relationship be your whole life. The truth is that we never know what will happen later down the line. Sometimes relationships go sour, or something happens that leaves us single again. Those situations are tough enough, no one wants to go thorugh them without anyone to turn to. Love your significant other, but remember to love yourself too.
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