Does Anyone Know the Real You?

by Samantha on August 4, 2010

Circle

If there’s one thing that really bothers me in this world, it’s people who are fake.  They’re one way to your face, and a completely different way behind your back.  And, when it comes down to it, they don’t really know you at all.

I’ve been watching MTV’s new series “If You Really Knew Me,” and I have to admit that I think it’s brilliant. The people behind Challenge Day really know what they’re doing, and it’s a program that should be mandatory in every high school.  For those who haven’t seen the show, the basic premise is trust building activities that get teens to open up to one another and reveal who they really are on the inside. It sounds corny, but it’s not.  Once you can see beyond the outer shell, you will often find that seemingly polar opposites have a lot in common.

The thing is, it’s not just high schoolers who are afraid to show their true selves to the world. I know plenty of adults who do things they’d rather not, just to fit in. It’s sad to say, but we don’t all outgrow our tendency to be judgmental either.  I bet it won’t take you very long to think of the last time you slapped a label on someone, or made a generalization, without taking the opportunity to get to know them first.

One of the key exercises on Challenge Day is when the students sit in small groups and complete the sentence “If you really knew me…” The things they reveal are almost always unexpected, and often those who call themselves their friends had no idea. How many people know the real you? Are there things that have happened or are happening in your life that no one knows about? If you had to complete that sentence, what would you say?

It’s funny…before this blog, I would have a lot of ways to finish that sentence. Don’t get me wrong, I still have some things that aren’t publicly known, but there are quite a few aspects of my life, my true self, that I’ve written about here.  Doing so has made me more open with my IRL friends. I bottle my emotions less, and share more. It’s definitely a healthier way to go!  It’s very important to me to be genuine in the offline and online world, and I can honestly say that people definitely know the real me. What about you?

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  • http://diamondkt.blogspot.com David

    I can't believe I'm reading this post today! Sunday night I started writing about this same topic, but never completed the post. I feel like I say that all the time – that people steal post ideas right out of my skull. It's true though. I think when we all read the same group of bloggers, we all start sharing a brain. What one person thinks about, another person blogs about just before you do. I love that. And hate that. ;)

    I have seen that show and I too thought it would be super corny at first. But I think it's a really great idea for HS kids! Actually it's a good excersize for people of all ages because there's not a single one of us that doesn't wear a mask sometimes. It's part of the reason why I wrote my “101 Things You Didn't Know About Me” list a few years ago.

    Anyway, I'm still going to reveal my “if you really knew me” secret next week…I think. I’m still hesitating on sharing that part of me.

  • Susan Pogorzelski

    I've never seen the MTV show, but I love the presmise of it. The benefits are two-fold — not only will others get to know the real you, but you can get to know yourself a whole lot better. I think the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more open you are to sharing that with others.

    If I had started blogging when I was in high school, I think a lot of my experiences would be different. I was just telling my co-worker (and coincidentally a high school classmate) the other day that in high school, no one really knows you because no one really takes the time to get to know you. Not the real you. Not that deeper you. At the same time, how can they? At that age, you're still trying to figure it out for yourself. Writing has always helped me figure that out for myself, and I think (I hope) that the blog has allowed for others to see that real me. And yet — that's only a part of who I really am.

    It makes you wonder if anyone can ever really know all of you…Maybe your family — they're usually the ones who have seen you through everything — and maybe some select friends. But can anyone really know you? Or is it about knowing yourself?

    Wow, Sam. You've really got the philosophical wheels turning here. Great post!

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    That's so funny! I was going to say that maybe we've been talking too much…but I don't actually think that :) It is funny how that happens, and I think it makes for great discussion.

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who watches the show and realizes what an amazing idea it is! There are definitely some workplaces, communities, and families who could benefit from some of the exercises they do on Challenge Day. I wrote a 25 things about me post a while back, but maybe I'll do an updated version sometime soon.

    I hope you finish your post and let us know what we would know if we really knew you. I love learning new things about my friends! And don't worry, I won't steal your stealing ideas post idea! (that's a mouthful haha….that's what she said…I'm so mature lol)

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    What a nugget of wisdom! I agree that the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more open you are to sharing that with others.

    You raise an interesting point. I think that very few people have a chance to know all of you, but hopefully those who know the real you are a larger group. The latter is not contingent on the former, in my opinion. Knowing yourself is really important, just like believing in yourself and valuing yourself. The better we know and feel about ourselves, the better chances are that other people will respect us and treat us as we deserve to be treated.

    Great points Susan! Thanks!

  • http://akhilak.com/blog Akhila

    Interesting post! I definitely agree that social media has made it a lot harder to answer that question. But I also agree that it has made me a lot more open and willing to share my thoughts, opinions and inner self with my friends and family!

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