Why I Love Being By Myself

by Samantha on January 7, 2010

Some people hate being being somewhere by themselves. They associate the experience with lonliness, boredom, and vulnerability. Even the most fiercely independent often strongly prefer being in the company of others. Personally, I love being by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a loner by any stretch of the imagination. I truly enjoy spending time with my boyfriend, family and friends, but I’m also not afraid of being alone at times. In fact, I relish having an evening to myself every once in a while.

I think part of the reason I find such comfort in alone time is due to being an only child. I play well with others, but I can also entertain myself easily.  It’s an independence thing too. When I’m alone, I operate on my own schedule, do whatever I want to do, watch whatever I want to watch, go where I want to go, eat whatever I want to eat. If I drop something on the floor, no one will see it. I can sit around in my underwear and watch marathons of fluffy MTV reality shows. If I want to, I can spend hours shopping and not buy anything. I can be a lazy bum, or try to get a million things done without distractions. If I don’t feel like talking to anybody, that’s okay, and if I want to talk to myself, no one will look at me like a crazy person.

In truth, I think having some time alone is healthy for the soul. Sure, your friends and family love you for you, and accept you despite all of your idiosyncrasies. But, when you’re alone, you have absolutely no one to answer to but yourself, and that is so freeing. So, the next time your roommate spends the night somewhere else, or you don’t have plans on a Friday night, stop worrying about how lonely and uncool you feel and just enjoy it.

Do you like spending time by yourself? How do you make the most of this time? Are you dependent on other people for entertainment and constant companionship?

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Tagged as: Advice, confidence, happiness, Relationships

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  • http://ryanstephensmarketing.com/blog Ryan Stephens

    I love being by myself. My little sister and I are both wired this way.

    1.) I’m WAY more productive alone. I’m very easily distracted and also pretty talented at distracting other people.
    2.) I’ve never understood people who say they’re bored. I’ve never once been bored in my life I don’t think. I can ALWAYS find something to do to keep myself entertained.
    3.) I love going out and doing things with friends (I’m kind of a life the party type person – even though if I took one of those little test things I’m probably an introvert – believe it or not, I know not, I get that a lot.) BUT I usually only go out on weekend night, b/c I like using the other night to rest, recharge, be introspective, etc.

    That’s all I got.

  • http://leavesinthespring.blogspot.com/ Bluebelle

    I love seeing friends and family but I always relish an evening by myself. I think I appreciate time with others even more when I've had space to enjoy my own company as well.

  • nicolerelyea

    I'm a huge extrovert and will almost always choose to be around people if I can.

    That being said, I recently moved across the country, so I've been spending a lot of time doing things by myself. When the choice was between seeing a movie alone and not seeing it, I decided to go.

    And I found out that I loved it.

    I am currently relishing the discovery of independent exploration. While I still love socializing with my friends, I try to take one night a week just for myself, and I've thoroughly enjoyed it.

  • http://www.examiner.com/x-/x-13207-Generation-Y-Examiner Sharalyn

    Having lived alone for the past five and a half years, I know a lot about this topic! I really like being by myself and controlling when I am around people and when I am not. I'm not introverted, I'm not overly shy. I just like to have my own quiet time and when I don't, then I seek interaction. For me, it's nice to be out and around people, then return to the solitude and quiet of my own house.

    Technology makes it easier to be alone, I think. You can be technically alone in your house, but still communicating with people over text, IM, Twitter, etc. Sort of a best of both worlds scenario…

    However, I actually think it is absolutely NECESSARY to have alone time. When you are always around people, when do you really reflect and contemplate on the things you need to do in your own life? Of course, like anything else, one can spend TOO much time alone though, no one wants to be “that” guy/gal. :)
    Thanks, Sam!

  • http://ryanstephensmarketing.com/blog Ryan Stephens

    I love being by myself. My little sister and I are both wired this way.

    1.) I'm WAY more productive alone. I'm very easily distracted and also pretty talented at distracting other people.
    2.) I've never understood people who say they're bored. I've never once been bored in my life I don't think. I can ALWAYS find something to do to keep myself entertained.
    3.) I love going out and doing things with friends (I'm kind of a life the party type person – even though if I took one of those little test things I'm probably an introvert – believe it or not, I know not, I get that a lot.) BUT I usually only go out on weekend night, b/c I like using the other night to rest, recharge, be introspective, etc.

    That's all I got.

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Such a good point! Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with being in a big group that I long for a little alone time. It definitely makes me appreciate it more. Thanks for commenting!

  • http://25andtrying.com Beth Oppenheim

    What a wonderful only-child shout out post! I am also an only child as you know and it's funny – I have struggled with the topic of being alone for most of my life. Adult and child. As a child I was surrounded by a community that I was in school with for K-12. They were my siblings. It was helpful to have them, but I relished being alone at home because that is what I knew. I loved to read and do independent creative things. As I got to be a teenager, I think being alone got harder. I started spending most of the time either on the phone with, or physically with my best friend, and in college I helped start a sorority as a way of building community.
    It took me awhile to really feel comfortable being alone – and yes, sometimes I still struggle with it. I think it just depends on my mood. The more positive the mood, the more I'm likely to really see it as a way of catching up on “me” time and doing the things I want to do.
    Oh and yes. I also enjoy underwear reality television. Always.

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Hi Nicole! It's so interesting that you were one way before, and now life has forced you to explore the other way and you actually enjoy it. It's funny how that happens. I love that you've integrated both social time and alone time into your schedule. I hope life in your new home is going well. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your perspective!

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    I knew you would have valuable insight to share on this topic and I was right! I definitely agree, technology does make it a lot easier to physically be alone. You have the company, and yet you can still sit around in your underwear and no one will know :) And like I said in the post, I think having some time alone is healthy for the soul. As you put it, we need time to reflect and contemplate. Thanks for your comments, Sharalyn!

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Ryan: I totally get where you're coming from. I too am VERY easily distracted, and can entertain myself well. I love that you say you've never been bored in your life. That's pretty impressive! I can see you as the life of the party, fun times down in Texas :) Thanks for chiming in!

  • jrmoreau

    I love alone time. I work around people all day and talk to people online even more. Centering myself with no outside input is just beautiful whenever I get the chance.

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Beth! I love hearing your perspective! We're both only children, and yet it's interesting to see which of our experiences are similar and which are different. I was also part of a community that was like my extended family, but for me it was my congregation. As the rabbi's kid, they kind of all adopted me at birth :) It can be difficult to be alone, some people just don't enjoy it. But, I'm glad you've grown to appreciate that time. Especially the underwear reality TV! Thanks for commenting!

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Agreed! Sometimes we need that time to ourselves. Unplugged, unattached, unburdened. Enjoy it!

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    Oh I love love being alone and by myself. I think it's such a comfortable feeling, because you always have you by your side. No one knows me better than myself. Sounds funny, but it's true!

    When I'm by myself, I love to catch up on reading, stay silent, laugh, dance to music in my undies ;) write a blog post and just simply think.

    I also enjoy people that enjoy being alone. I'm an ENFP so I get my energy from other people, but really, I've learned being alone I am able to relish in me. I make time to be completely alone about 1-2 times a week for more than 3 hours. It's something I give to myself as a present, each week.

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    You're so right, Grace! No one knows you better than you. Sounds like you have a great appreciation of alone time, and I love your attitude about it. Thanks for sharing :)

  • http://www.annelienaes.com Annelie Näs

    I also enjoy being along or as you say with my self from time to time. Especially when I have attended an event or something where your meet people very intensly. Though I'm not an only child, but I did grew up in a small city, and I think from that I just got used to having a lot of time with only family or by myself. I never thought of this as the reason to why I can enjoy my own company, but perhaps it is. One thing I especially agreed with though that it is very freeing. Thanks for writing about this, I think it is sometimes important to hear that others enjoy this as well!

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Annelie: Thanks for your comments! Growing up in a small city could definitely contribute to your enjoyment of alone time, if for no other reason than it means you're not around as many people on a regular basis. It is especially nice to have some time to yourself after you attend an event or something with a lot of interaction. It's another one of those situations that makes you appreciate your own time even more.

  • Ali

    Thanks for your post & your refreshing perspective. I try to carve out at least one night a week when I can spend time by myself. I read, write, take a nap or catch up on “administrative tasks” which helps me stay sane & keeps me rejuvenated.

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Thanks Ali! I'm glad you enjoyed this post. It's awesome that you make time for yourself to recharge!

  • Guest

    This is a normal type of alone with which most people are comfortable. On the other hand, I could happily spend weeks by myself going to the movies, eating out, walking under the sunset. It is healthy to want to get away from it all. I think it is an amazing feat when someone can be alone for long ( as in months) lengths of time without feeling melancholy.

  • Guest

    Have to say Samantha this isn’t really being alone, or as your title put it, ‘being by myself’. Everyone at some point will have this on a day to day basis throughout life, so i don’t tink your as exceptional in this case as you are making yourself believe. The fact is, everyone has ‘an evening to themselves once in a while’, i don’t know anyone who goes out every night.

  • Omar

    I want to understand more about that. You see my girlfriend is that kind of person. She loves to spend time by herself sometimes. Now, I never really understood that. I guess cause I don’t think I’m the same. I guess I get that feeling sometimes, but not as often as she does. You’re right though, sometimes I guess I depend on other people for my entertainment. I would like to learn to love spending time on my own though. Don’t know how to do it, without…getting bored. Sometimes, when I want to be alone..its actually when I’m depressed (so that doesn’t really count), but yes..I would like to learn how to enjoy it!

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Alone time is not as enjoyable for some people as it is for others. There’s nothing wrong with preferring to be with other people, but you have to make sure that you know how to take a step back if you need to. You may find that having time to yourself becomes more valuable later in your life. Thanks for the comment, Omar!

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