Sorry, but I couldn’t resist that 90′s throwback. It worked out well because “guts” is another word for the topic of this post: Confidence. Some people have it, some people don’t. Okay, that’s not entirely accurate, as there are varying degrees, but it’s one of those things that is most common in extremes. There are the people whose egos are so inflated that they would probably pop with just one prick of a pin. Then there are those who are the exact opposite, who just can’t do anything right and never seem to live up to their own high standards and expectations.
Where does confidence come from? Who and what gives us more of it, and takes it away? There are many different answers to these questions. It’s different for everyone, and for some people it just comes easier. But, what about those who have a harder time being their own cheerleader, who are always second guessing themselves? What if they want to be more confident, but just don’t know how?
That last group is the one I relate to the most. I like myself, I do. I know I’m a talented writer, good friend, great listener, but confidence has never come easy to me. I like a compliment as much as anyone, but I help people, work hard, and give back because I want to, not for any sort of recognition, so I’ve never been one to toot my own horn, so to speak. I believe in myself and my abilities, though not as much as I should. But, the thing is, I’m not sure what I can do to change. I want to change because I think if I trusted myself more, and gave myself a little more credit, it would probably pay off.
I know there are a lot of other people who are worse off in the confidence department, and I feel for them. But, I wonder sometimes if the terrible economy wasn’t the only reason it took me so long to get a job. Maybe I just totally sucked at selling myself. I’m so grateful to have a job now, and I think my confidence deficit has formed a dangerous combination with first job jitters and crappy economy-generated worry.
So, I want to hear from you. Do you consider yourself a confident person? What has contributed to your confidence? How do you keep believing in yourself? What do you suggest for those like me who are stuck in the middle?
{ 9 comments }
Oh. My. God. I love GUTS (and all old school Nick). LETS GO TO THE LEADERBOARD MO! lol, awesome
As for guts..do do do do I have them? I would say yes, my ego isn't sky high, but I know I have a lot to offer – I know I have some amazing ideas that may not (always) get out in the open, but they're in there, just waiting to be let out. I would tell you to set personal goals – set goals and do everything you can to meet them. Tell yourself you WILL reach out to every single person who posts on your blog, tell yourself you WILL volunteer in the community, tell yourself you WILL save 10 bucks a week. Whatever it is, big or small, set personal goals, then meet them and better yet, EXCEED THEM. Prove to yourself that you can take on lofty goals you set for yourself – SURPRISE yourself. Affirmation from others is great, but personal affirmation is priceless.
Great post – thank you for sharing this topic and for bringing back the memories of Mike O' Malley and the Agro-crag!
Thanks Matt, for your advice, your support…and of course, your love for old school Nick! I'm definitely trying to push myself outside my comfort zone, and set goals I may not have set before. Hopefully, I will surprise myself.
I'm definitely stuck in the middle. I'm good when I have it, my ego is never that high. But when I'm down it's like I really curl up and hate myself. It's hard to find that healthy balance, I really want to.
This subject is as deep as complex. I commented something on Jamie Varon's post about love, that i think it relates to this.
I was a pretty insecure person. I really was. Mainly because life experiences made me feel that way, made me feel doubtful about my choices in life and my way to talk to people.
And here's the tricky part. It was also life experiences what made me confident. It's not about “sucking” at it, or “doing something” to change it. It's about living where you feel most comfortable with, where succes is achievable to you, in order to realize that you're GOOD at things.
It comes down to living, and gradually confidence will come to you. As long as you go after your dreams, confidence will follow. Don't look for it, instead look for your happiness and fulfillment. I have yet to see an insecure happy person.
You're well on your way Sam, don't worry. Confidence is a matter of paths, and oyu just have to worry to follow yours.
let's go to Mo at the leader board…
Carlos, thanks as always for your valuable insight! Let confidence come to you instead of looking for it is great advice, and something I will definitely try. If I spend too much time worrying about it, I might miss out on a great opportunity to boost my confidence or achieve my dreams.
I know how you feel. Matt and Carlos have some great advice. Let's try our best to have faith in ourselves!
Carlos, thanks as always for your valuable insight! Let confidence come to you instead of looking for it is great advice, and something I will definitely try. If I spend too much time worrying about it, I might miss out on a great opportunity to boost my confidence or achieve my dreams.
I know how you feel. Matt and Carlos have some great advice. Let's try our best to have faith in ourselves!
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