Finish Line

Nice Girls Don’t Always Finish Last

by Samantha on May 14, 2010

I’m a nice girl. I care deeply about people, and it takes a lot to get on my bad side, because it’s much smaller than my good side. I give second, and sometimes third, chances. I believe in people, but I am not a pushover. I choose to be positive, loving, and giving. It makes me sad to see people treating each other like shit, and getting mad over stupid things. When people are rude and unkind for no reason, I can only shake my head in disbelief. When they judge others without giving them a chance, and intentionally exclude them, I have to hope that they don’t realize the impact of their actions.

I’m also someone who has learned from my life experiences. The trials and tribulations I have faced in my 24 years have made me a stronger, wiser person. They have given me an invaluable sense of perspective that has made me appreciate everything and everyone so much more. I am truly grateful for every day. I know not everyone is so open to change, or mature enough to make the most of it. But, I can’t believe that people can emerge from a challenging situation completely unchanged.

See, we have this one life, and it’s pretty amazing. So, be nice. Think about the impact of your actions. Respect people, even if you don’t agree with them. Do something selfless every day, and find joy in making other people smile. Stop assuming the worst will happen. Have faith in yourself and others. Find the silver lining in even the darkest clouds, and learn from everything you go through.  Refuse to believe the old saying that nice girls (and boys) finish last. Even better, prove it wrong!

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Tagged as: Advice, friendship, happiness, Relationships

  • emilyjasper

    What a great post for a Friday! All your positivity can always make things brighter. Thanks for sharing, thanks for being so appreciative, and thanks for being nice!

  • http://www.kristinasmedia.com/ Kristina E. Proctor

    I'm right there with you. I especially think that women feel that they need to be more aggressive and put up a strong 'not-nice' front. I don't believe that.

    I think you (men and women) can show that they are nice and compassionate without being a push over. In fact, people can have more respect for people that are able to display those traits without being a push over. I think it shows a great balance.

    Thanks for the post!

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Thanks, Emily! You are too kind :)

  • http://twentyorsomething.com/ Susan Pogorzelski

    I've been thinking about your post for awhile and still stand by everything I said to you yesterday — it's a great one that I think speaks to a lot of people. But what I've been thinking about and haven't been able to really put into words is that last paragraph. We all want to be successful. We all want to find happiness and love and be the best at what we do, meet with praise and accolades and go far in our jobs. In theory, it's always been those other girls who achieved all of this — at least, that's what society likes us to think.

    Yet who are the people you remember, the people you're friends with or want to get to know? Who are the people you trust and love, the people you are truly happy for when something good happens? Those are the nice girls. The people who are naturally kind, who believe in themselves and others around them, who make an impact. That old saying that nice girls finish last may be true in some cases, but I think more often than not, the nice girls have it better. Because at the end of the day, we can be happy being ourselves.

    There's so much to think about with this post, Sam. I'm going to echo the others and say I love the positivity and power in this one. Awesome!

  • http://blog.ciuksza.com Albert Ciuksza Jr.

    I have a quote hanging on my wall from, of all people, Garry Shandling. He said, “Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.” I'd say that applies to your post and certainly has been my experience.

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Hi Kristina! I think people often forget that it's possible to be nice and not be pushover. There is a balance, you just have to find it. Thanks for your comment!

  • http://twitter.com/dmbosstone Patrick Pho

    I agree that treating others the way you want to be treated can go a long way- is there a part of life however where being nice sometimes results in finishing last?

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  • legallyheidi

    I've been thinking about this a lot lately – after a conflict with some mean girls who didn't even know me, I couldn't and still can't understand why people are so MEAN to others. Why do people spend time being hurtful to people they don't know when they can just leave them alone. I've been trying to be…nicer to people after that whole thing, it's just not worth it to be bitchy. Kudos to you for being a genuinely nice person :) (and not being a pushover!)

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Great point, Susan! Just because society has tried to teach us one thing, that doesn't mean it's the right thing. Nice girls definitely do have it better. Mean girls (and guys) carry around this negativity that I can only imagine must be a terrible burden. Who wants to live that way? I certainly don't, and I know you don't either. Thanks for your insight Susan!

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Such a great quote, and totally applicable to this post, and to life! Thanks for sharing, Albert!

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    Interesting question, Patrick. I really can't think of a time when it has. The thing is, finishing first or last can easily be subjective. What some people may define as complete success is only a small accomplishment for others. I've found that if you bring a smile and a positive attitude to whatever you're doing, you automatically start off on the right foot.

  • http://www.lifeschocolates.com sameve

    It's interesting that you mention a conflict with mean girls. Although it wasn't so much a conflict as an interaction, a certain couple of mean girls actually inspired this post. These girls don't know me, and have never made an effort or given me a chance. They're just rude, and unfriendly, and have no problem leaving me out. It bothers me, but at the same time, I feel bad for them. I wouldn't want to approach life with such negativity and bitterness. Just think of it this way, if you respond to their meanness with meanness of your own, you're just as bad as they are. But, if you respond by being nice and friendly, you're just reinforcing how stupid they are for not getting to know a nice person like you! Thanks Heidi!

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