Hearing and listening are two totally different things. We hear a lot of things, but rarely do we actually listen to the sounds or the words. You can play a song on your iPod and tune out everything but the beat. It’s easy to hear what someone has to say and only listen to the parts that concern you. Far too often, people ask “how are you?” without waiting to hear the answer. They ask out of courtesy and habit, not because they really want to know.
Have you ever noticed how much people apologize after they vent about something? Of course, we don’t want to unload our baggage on others, be a downer, or burden people with our troubles. I’ll admit, I’m not much a feelings sharer. But, I’m learning to switch roles every once and a while and let someone else be the listener. After all, that’s what friends are for, and I’ve always worked very hard to be a supportive friend. I’m proud that people feel comfortable talking to me and confiding in me. My friends know they can trust me and they know I will always listen to them. Whether it’s online, over the phone, or in person, I’m there for them.
So, here’s the bottom line: Don’t just hear what someone has to say, truly listen. Make people feel comfortable with you and encourage them to talk to you about their problems. When someone is venting to you, don’t interrupt or change the subject to something about yourself. Listening requires moments of selflessness. So, put others first, but don’t forget to put yourself first sometimes too.
If anyone needs to vent, just let me know. And, thanks to those who have been there for me.
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