Why Different is a Good Thing When It Comes to Friendship

I have a confession to make. My current guilty pleasure TV show is My Life As Liz on MTV. Yes, it’s corny, and who knows if any of it is actually real, but I keep watching anyway. And ya know, it’s a good thing too, because that show is the inspiration for this blog post.

Here’s a little background: Liz, the main character, is a funky, sarcastic, independent, weird (but in a cool way) high school senior. She used to be best friends with one of the “popular” girls, but that girl ditched her and now treats her like shit. But, don’t worry about Liz. She found a new best friend, another so-called popular girl named Taylor who is actually sweet and down-to-Earth when you get to know her. The two of them are pretty much polar opposites, Liz has her hair dyed bright red, doesn’t care about trends, and enjoys spending time with her geeky, awkward guy friends. Taylor has straight blond hair and fake nails, loves shopping, and enjoys going out on dates with hunky boys. And yet, they’ve formed this awesome bond. Taylor even stood up for Liz when her bitchy former friend was talking shit.

So, how does this “reality TV show” apply to real life? I think there’s a lot of value in having friends who are different than you. We’re often drawn to those who are like us in some way. It’s comfortable and familiar to be with people who understand us and relate to us. But, opposites do attract in friendship too, and it may be the people you have the least in common with who end up teaching you the most.

I’m an only child.  I’m Jewish. I’ve been fortunate to travel to Europe and cruise the Caribbean. I’m close with my parents. I love writing, and ice cream, and sports, and fashion. These are some of the things that make me who I am.

In elementary school, I had one close friend who had five siblings. I can remember going over to her house to play and being so enthralled and overwhelmed by the noise and activity. It was such a change for me, and yet I loved it. It made me think about how cool it would be to always have someone to play with, and at the same time, I always appreciated going back to my quiet house.

Growing up, I was one of a fairly small number of Jews in my school district, and being the Rabbi’s kid, I was often the “token Jew,” so to speak. But, it wasn’t a bad thing. In fact, I embraced it. I loved teaching my classmates about my traditions, and learning about theirs too. That’s something that has continued throughout my life. Freshman year of college, my mom and her best friend came up to school and made latkes for Hanukkah for all of my friends. I told them all about the holiday and taught them to play dreidel. It was an awesome day!

Being different has this negative stigma that it doesn’t deserve.  Just like taking a variety of college courses makes you a well-rounded student, I think having a variety of different friends with different backgrounds and interests makes you a well-rounded person. Some of my friends are party animals, and some would much prefer a quiet night at home. I have some wonderful guy friends, but the majority of my friends are girls. It’s funny, most are them are brunettes, but there are a few blondes thrown in there too. I have a few thoughtful, selfless friends who are always there for me. If I need to vent, they’re the ones I’ll go to right away. Others don’t deal too well with the serious stuff, and that’s okay too. They’re the ones who lighten the mood and make me laugh. I love them all, and as much as my own personality traits and interests make me who I am, my friends are also a major part of the person I am today.

I strongly believe that there are some lessons that can’t be learned in a classroom. We learn through experience and we learn from the people who are a part of our lives. So, step outside your comfort zone and make some new friends. Seek out the people who are different than you in one way or another. Open up your heart and your mind. It’ll be worth it, I promise.

What do you think? Why does different always have a negative connotation? Think about your friends. Are they all very similar to you, or are there differences between you? Am I right that different is a good thing when it comes to friendship?

PHOTO CREDIT

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Tagged as: Advice, being thankful, friendship, Relationships