This is my little green monster. He may not look very menacing, but he’s actually quite a jerk. For me, this little guy represents jealousy, a feeling that I battle constantly. Most often, he rears his ugly head in matters of friendship. If you know me, or if you’ve read this blog enough, you know that friendship is very important to me, and something I invest a lot in. I’m well aware that not everyone is going to put as much in as I do, and that’s perfectly fine. A lot of what I do, I do without wanting or expecting anything in return. However, there have been some people in my life who have taken advantage of my devotion and kind heart, who have left our friendship on the side of the road like an abandoned couch. These people have not convinced me to change my ways, or stopped me from caring so much about people, because that’s just how I am. But, they have made me wary; they have fed the little green monster and given him strength.
He’s a persistent little guy. In fact, he has shown up far too much recently, sitting on my shoulder with his little devil ears and pitchfork, making me doubt the people who care about me. I’ve watched friends of mine become friends with each other, and instead of being happy, I’ve worried myself crazy. See, the little green one tries to convince me that I’m going to end up like the couch again, that my friends are going to like each other better than they like me, and I will end up alone.
Well, recently I’ve put some duct tape over the monster’s mouth and done some serious thinking. I realize that jealousy is a normal human emotion, and it’s okay for me to feel it sometimes. But, I’ve also realized that my friends love me for me. I have my own special relationship with each and every one of them, and nothing can replace that…if it does, they’re probably not people I want to be friends with anyway. So, here I go. I am throwing the little green monster out the window. I’m sure he’ll try and find his way back onto my shoulder every once in a while, but soon enough he’ll realize that I’m done with him. He’ll have to find somewhere else to sit tonight…maybe an abandoned couch on the side of the road.
What does the little green monster symbolize for you? Have you put the duct tape over his mouth? When are you going to throw him out the window?
