We are our own worst critics. It’s a cliche, but it’s usually true. Looking in the mirror, we see who we are…and who we want to be. But, how do others see us? What do they perceive through our words and our actions? In our day-to-day interactions, it’s easier to tell by watching body language and facial expressions, but in the digital world, it’s much more complicated.
Perception is skewed by the Internet. It’s hard to derive true meaning from written words on the screen. What is intended as humor or teasing or sarcasm isn’t always interpreted that way. You could come off as a selfish, pompous asshole, even if you’re not. People may see you as more courageous than you actually feel. Friendliness is sometimes seen as disengenous, driven by ulterior motives. There are numerous opportunities for positive and negative misinterpretation.
What inspired this post was a chat I had with my friend Cheila. We were talking about life and the things we’ve been through, and she was admiring my courage and confidence. She talked about the ‘me’ that she knows from my online persona who is confident, outgoing, and popular. I almost laughed out loud when she said it, because those are three adjectives that have rarely been used to describe me in ‘real’ life. She was surprised to hear that I’m actually kind of shy, but it’s true. This got me thinking about how I portray myself online. Maybe online me embodies the characteristics that I wish were stronger offline. I definitely want to be more confident and outgoing, so I’m happy to hear that someone perceives me that way. It makes me feel like I have the capacity to be that way, and I just have to work on bringing that side of me out in the real world.
Genuineness is a quality that is very important to me, and I believe staying true to yourself is one of the keys to happiness. One of my inner demons is an anxiety that makes me extra self conscious, and I’m pretty much constantly wondering what people are thinking about me. I tend to worry and over think, assuming I must have done something wrong if someone doesn’t respond to my messages for a longer than normal time period. The upside is that I’m very aware of how I present myself. I am honest and up front on this blog. I’m me, or maybe the me who I want to be.
I’m not saying that we need to live our lives worrying about what other people think about us. What really matters is that we are happy with who we are and the way we live our lives. But, just be aware of how people might perceive you, especially online. Realize that 140 characters is pretty limiting, and if you’re thinking “jk” in your head, you should probably type it too. Most of all, be yourself. People will love you and hate you, that’s just how it goes, but at least then they can never accuse you of being anything else but you.
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