How do you appreciate the people in your life? Often times, we only show our appreciation after they’ve done something for us, or when another holiday mandated by Hallmark appears on the calendar. We send the obligatory thank-you cards after birthdays and celebrations, and maybe even pony up for a Borders gift card when someone has helped us out in a pinch.
When etiquette isn’t driving us, how often do we show people that we appreciate them for who they are and what they mean to us? Words can’t always do our feelings justice, and coming up with the right words can be a struggle in and of itself.
When I was younger, I was often tasked with the chore of pulling weeds in my mom’s flower gardens. I hated it. We’re not talking about a little bed of tulips here – many of the plants are so big you could lose a small child in the shade garden. I’d get around to doing it…eventually…but as soon as the job was done, I high-tailed it out of there.
A few years ago, I made a spur of the moment decision to help my mom out with one of her major spring gardening projects. She didn’t ask me to do it – but, when she came home from the greenhouse with an entire SUV of fledging plants, I thought it would be a fun chance to spend some time with her and participate in one of the activities that she truly loves (even though I’d hardly consider myself a green thumb). Two days and roughly 200 plants later, she could cross a huge to-do off her list, and I’d discovered that I actually enjoy digging around in the dirt. Every year since then, I’ve made it a point to block off a weekend in May to channel my inner Martha Stewart with my mom.
We live in a time-starved culture that teaches us from an early age to approach life with a “what’s in it for me” attitude. This in mind, the ultimate act of appreciation is to spend time with someone doing whatever it is that they enjoy – whether or not it falls on your list of favorite activities
It’s not begrudgingly going to a concert with your girlfriend only after she’s pestered you for months, or agreeing to go to your brother’s favorite sporting event only if he’ll pay for your ticket. It’s proactively planning an afternoon bike trip because with your boyfriend because he loves to ride – even though more than half an hour on the trail makes your calves feel like jelly.
Do this without expecting anything in return, even if showing your appreciation requires you to dress up as a video game vixen and wander around a gaming convention for hours. Check your ego and sense of pride at the door, and get caught up in the moment, because chances are you’ll have much more fun than you’d ever expected. Even if you’d rather be sitting on a hill of fire ants, suck it up, put on a smile, and remember that you’re doing this without an ounce of self-interest.
Creating memories is an enduring and truly meaningful way to show your appreciation. No one will remember a card 20 years from now, but they will remember the time you spent together doing what they love.
Appreciative Revolutionary: Ellen Nordahl (@ellelamode)
Bio: Ellen Nordahl works as a Recruiter for a medical software company in Madison, Wisconsin. She loves to meet new people, travel, read, and spend time outdoors. When not ogling fashion blogs, playing Bananagrams or compiling the perfect playlist, she blogs about life, career, and other topics that strike her fancy at ElleLaMode.com. Keep tabs on her @ElleLaMode on Twitter.
Favorite ice cream flavor: Espresso Oreo
I appreciate Ellen’s passion, her inquisitive nature, and how much she values her family!
