“What she rested on was the conviction that you had to value what you had. You might want something, and most times you ought to realize that what you wanted was what you already had. You couldn’t move on restlessly, trying to annex new possessions in the hope, like Sarah Willis with her expanding address book, that what you wanted might be out there somewhere; but on the other hand you couldn’t stay exactly where you were.”
This morning on the train, I was reading The Northern Clemency by Philip Hensher, this month’s Blogging Bookworms book of choice, when I came upon this passage, and I immediately knew that it would inspire a blog post. This insight, though imparted on us through the thoughts of a fictional character, is something that we should all take to heart. It’s great to set goals, to dream, to know where you want to go in life. Like she says, we shouldn’t stay exactly where we are. If we are content to simply stay in one place our whole lives, we’re not really living our lives, we’re not doing ourselves justice. Imagine what the world would be like if we were all content with an average life, if no one was driven, or cared enough to challenge themselves. What a sad world it would be.
That said, it’s the rest of the passage that really touches me. “What she rested on was the conviction that you had to value what you had.“ Often, we get so caught up in setting new goals and achieving them, striving for better and more of things, making money, becoming successful, that we forget to look around at what we already have in our lives. We may not realize that we already have things pretty great. We may not appreciate the achievements, and people, and things that we have until it’s too late.
All of this ties in with my post on whether success and happiness go hand in hand. I always feel sad for the people who are so consumed with success that they miss out on the rest of their lives, especially the ones who choose success over happiness without even knowing it. It’s all about achieving a balance and recognizing what is truly important.
Sounds easy, right? Except when you’re actually going through the tough stuff, making difficult decisions, trying to achieve that balance, setting goals and working hard to reach them, you realize it’s a lot harder than you thought. I’ve been through some pretty tough stuff in the past year, and healing is an ongoing process. Looking back, I realize now that I didn’t actually start that process until I was able to take a step back and say, yes, this really sucks, but I’m here and I’m going to be okay.
I’ve found that you have to look for the good in things, even when it seems impossible to find. When someone passes away, at least you were lucky enough to know them and spend time with them, and you’ll always have memories of the good times you spent with that person. If a relationship doesn’t work out for you or your loved ones, if you’re caught in the middle of a difficult situation, at least you still have those people in your life. If you lose your job or you have a hard time finding one, maybe that wasn’t the place for you anyway. Take the opportunity to re-evaluate, decide what you’re really passionate about, try something new and different you never thought you’d do.
Value what you have, value your life, value the people who love and care about you. Set goals, dream big, but take a minute to appreciate what you’ve got before you start looking for something better.
